The album is a wonderful sprawling mess of thoughts and ideas. It is far from predictable but strangely it was exactly what I expected. An album full of tracks like How To Reduce Your Chances Of Being A Terror Victim would have been a bit tedious but its omission is noticeable but also commendable.
Here it is...
Back in February 2008 London's XX Teens released the brilliant and innovative single 'How To Reduce The Chances Of Being A Terror Victim'. This was followed by a number of sessions in which the band performed the song. It looked like a defining moment in the infancy of a dynamic new art-school band. So big things are expected from the debut album 'Welcome To Goon Island'. Scanning down the track listing, 'How To Reduce The Chances Of Being A Terror Victim' is nowhere to be seen. Even before the first listen, the signs are not good.
'Welcome To Goon Island' is a wonderful sprawling mess of thoughts and ideas. Opener 'The Way We Were' quickly throws off the dreamy waterfall strings for a much more comfortable tin pot and guitar stomp. The combined vocals of Rich Cash and Anthony Silvester form a great combination, forming a mix of Mark E Smith (The Fall) and Tom Meighan (Kasabian). After the odd start, it is an otherwise ordinary 'love' song with some great lyrics: "Everything was made for us, from the sun down to the dust" and "You need a professional. Someone to rescue you...but not me". 'B 54' brings in the strangeness. It sounds more like an Arab Strap song, part sung, part spoken to create a strange storytelling effect. The drums and guitars, however, are incredible. What the whole thing is about is anyone's guess but it plays out like part of Dante's The Divine Comedy. Lines like "The amputee! She's got five legs, six legs and a croissant" suggest that it got lost in translation.
Moving swiftly on 'Round' is a slow plodding collection of drums, electronics and annoying high pitch laughing before a another lyrical adventure, this time about Micah the Prophet (described as Micah the Morashtite - not only misspelled, as it should be Morasthite, but also incorrect. The word Morasthite is the Book Of Micah and not the Prophet). Mere technicalities aside, it is another arty ramble set to sparse alien instrumentation. There is some interesting guitar work after a brief burst of bird song but the ending is horrible. The inspiringly titled 'Ba (Ba-Ba Ba)' (maybe a tribute to 'Abacab' by Genesis?) recalls an alcohol fuelled reminiscence and sounds like the band got Mark Ronson in at the last minute to produce - "Oh just add a brass section, it will be fine". So the musical arrangement does not work at all. And the line "...my heart's all soaked in wine" should be left to Norah Jones.
The same warning signs flash at the start of 'Onkarawa' but it quickly settles down. Cash's lazy droll is interrupted by a combination of delicate backing and then furious guitars during the line: "Cos when I try to speak efficiently my brains, my brains, my brains explode". Then it all goes a bit psychedelic. The whole song is framed by shouting from Silvester. Great stuff. Quickly through the pointless 'Interlude', 'Only You' is a great short punchy pop song - predictably ragged around the edges but a genuine tune. In contrast 'My Favourite Hat' pulls us back to weirdsville. This is a real confused mess of ideas with overwhelming drums and too much electronic nonsense. Continuing the inconsistency, 'Darlin'' is really great. This time the trumpets work and the steel drums are a nice touch. Lyrically, however, this is hopelessly pretentious. Any song that features the band name should be reserved for rap or novelty pop singles, not innovative bands who want to be taken seriously. But there are some great lines: "Oh I never get drunk with a pen in my hand. I try to teach you but you don't understand" shows that there are poets in there somewhere. And the song has the best ending on the album.
Into the final part of 'Welcome To Goon Island' and 'Sun Comes Up' is a sitar infused but frenetic Beatles-esque slice of psychedelic irony. It is hard to believe that this is to be taken completely seriously. And it feels a bit half-arsed. On an album that is quite short even by modern standards, extending this by five minutes would not seem unreasonable. 'For Brian Haw' has its heart in the right place and closes the album with a profound political statement, not just protesting but honouring the protester. The electronically injected backing track is excellent, like the soundtrack to a post-apocalyptic horror movie. After three minutes we get a two minute monologue from the man himself which is startlingly effective.
The omission of 'How To Reduce The Chances Of Being A Terror Victim' is not the problem with 'Welcome To Goon Island'. Even though it is noticeable, it is also commendable. Too many new bands just make a debut album full of early singles and EPs, giving fans nothing new. XX Teens are being described as 'vivid', 'interesting', 'expansive' and 'far-reaching' and that they will 'bring a bit of depth and Technicolor joy into the drab current musical landscape'. You cannot disagree with the last claim but the key word here is 'bit'. The band chip away at the foundations of music without using a sledgehammer; they run up to doors, knock and run away when they should just blow them apart with dynamite. It is arty without being groundbreaking; rarely predictable but entirely what is expected. But if you are going to create challenging and engaging music then 'Welcome To Goon Island' is a great start.
-- CS (for The Music Magazine 2008)
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