Hosts: Noel Fielding (Mighty Boosh), Fearne Cotton and Reggie!
First up is Rob Brydon and Ruth (Aka Nessa) with the 'single' (Barry) Islands In The Stream. Great nine minute video and the live performance is just as committed. Barry Gibb is there on backing vocals with some of the Gavin & Stacy crew. Shame there is no Corden and Horne. Ruth actually has a decent voice. A star turn from Sir Tom Jones, sporting a new grey haircut (and beard!). He's sounding a bit rough to start - not his usual glorious baritone, but soon gets into it. Brydon is typically over-the-top but enthusiastic.
Franz Ferdinard next with No You Girls. A pretty decent track, like a reworking of Take Me Out, but a bit too much of going through the motions. Comes alive when David Tennant turns up at the end on guitar. Yeah right?! Love the red boots though!
Brief but necessary interlude for a well intentioned documentary about why the BBC are doing this in the first place. One word: Malaria. FC, with French and Saunders, reminds us.
Noel Fielding introduces Oasis (apparently cats love them). From one Noel to another...
Falling Down is one of the best Oasis singles in a while. But where is Liam? Couldn't be arsed to turn up? He better have a good excuse. He isn't singing but he could at least do his Bez bit with a tambourine or something. Anyway Noel is a star. I wouldn't be surprised if he's running and fronting the band in a few years anyway. Damn good vocals.
66609 text for a £5 donation.
Back to Jonathan Ross and Claudia Winkleman (and Reggie!) to tell us that record companies are giving 20p off all current top 40 releases to donate to CR. Nice.
Now a montage of past 'musical' CR moments. Some real classics here including Peter Kay & Tony Christie.
It is then revealed that JR will do something physical next year. "You heard it here first", declares the lovely Ms. Cotton!
Now Take That...with Up All Night. A weird bar room style performance that gets everyone going. It's another decent performance of a 'new' Take That song. As red balloons fill the stage, it is clear that the band is having fun. Then it is all over...
Noel F. does an impression of Mark Owen then we launch into the band of the show: U2. And it's the single Get On Your Boots (predictably). Oh dear. Why the hell couldn't they do Even Better Than The Real Thing? Oh yeah they have a new album to plug that's why. What a let down. Even LM jr. looks completely bored as he 'drums' along. This is a fucking terrible song and everyone knows it. Could the band not put the current pointless PR aside for one minute and deliver us something decent for a worthy cause? Isn't this what Bono is always going on about ???? Arrrgghh.
Moving on...James Morrison with an acoustic version of Broken Strings. It's actually not bad. Up on the stage like Chris Martin he delivers a raw vulnerability. Much needed after Bono and the boys and their utter nonsense. This works amazingly well as a 'solo' effort.
Back to David Tennant and Fearne Cotton (she is gorgeous!) and we have a top 10 run down. It's pretty much all rubbish, except Lily Allen with The Fear and the Taylor Swift single (showing Kelly Clarkson how it is now done). Lady Gaga is in twice! The Saturdays (for CR are number 2) which leads us to...
Flo Rida. Who? My GOD!!!! What is this? Even compared to U2 this is utter shite. Winkleman, McCall and French provide some much needed 'Comic Relief' (can't believe I just said that!) by dancing along and getting into the spirit of things. But honestly this is COMPLETE BOLLOCKS. People actually bought this?
The BBC could have just pretended that something else (anything else!) was number one, than this rubbish. Why didn't they close with Islands In The Stream?????? No one would have cared.
So back to Cotton and Reggie for a muted finish. What a ride. CS out.
I know it's nothing to do with music but I don't care what Jonathan Ross did with that idiot Russell Brand, JR is worth the license fee alone. Him and Claudia Winkleman :)
And Fearne Cotton.